A MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHORS
Hello, and welcome to the fifth issue of our Trust and
Leadership newsletter and the fourth installment in
our "Leadership Dim Sum"
do you do when your past is haunting you, whether you
deserve it or not? Our topic this month is A
Grudge From the Past. It's not a comfortable
situation, but it can't really be ignored.
you're in the Boston area, you're invited to hear Rob
speak at the Calkins Advisors Power Breakfast, part
of a series of forums for senior executives to find
new opportunities and build new relationships.
Date: October 14, 2003
Time: 7:30 AM networking/breakfast,
8:00 presentation, 8:50 Q & A, 9:15 closing remarks
Cost: $50 includes breakfast, presentation,
and a copy of The Trusted Leader
Where: Doubletree Guest Suites, Waltham
To Register: call 508-435-1036
forward this newsletter to your colleagues and friends
who are interested in organizational and leadership
issues. Your feedback is always welcome at email@example.com
-Rob and Anne-
Surviving the Porcupine
Intimate is Your Inner Circle?
month's serving of Dim Sum: The High-Level Clique
LEADERSHIP DIM SUM, PART V: A GRUDGE
FROM THE PAST
been tarred with an unfair brush. Another member of the inner
circle tangled with you on an issue years ago – early
in your careers – and he still carries a grudge.
weren’t the instigator; it was your boss at the time
who went after him. But there it is, and because he was “in”
before you were, you’ve been put on the defensive.
approached him recently to try to resolve the situation (again)
– but he won’t hear of it. He thinks you’re
just trying to undermine him, get him in trouble.
to think about: What if anything can be done? How does one
forge a working relationship without trust? Should you enlist
others to help you? To endorse you? To say to him: “He’s
not so bad; give him a chance?” Should you approach
the guy through text instead of in person? Would the method
of communication make a difference?
yourself if it’s necessary to resolve the “old
issue,” or if you would be better off to rebuild trust
by looking forward. (We cover rebuilding trust in detail in
chapter 13, and you can get an overview
of the concepts on our website.) And keep in mind that
if you ask others to help you out, you run the risk of your
request getting back to this guy, and annoying him even more.
the best you can do is to appeal to him directly, asking flat
out what it might take to bury the hatchet. But unless there
is a need to force the issue and resolve the “cold war”
you may be kind of stuck. Rob’s father also used to
say, “it’s hard work to change a bigot.”
And in fact, you may not be able to. At best you may be able
to change the views of those around him.
about you? Have you ever found yourself in the awkward situation
of working with someone with whom you tangled in the past?
How did it go? Let
WITH THE AUTHORS OF THE TRUSTED LEADER
contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
for information about having us work directly with you and
© 2003 Robert Galford and Anne Seibold
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